Glossary

The mutual care and attention after an intense scene: cuddles, water, words, calm to “come back”. It dissolves physical and emotional tension and rebuilds trust. A couple that does aftercare plays more at ease.

Bisexual: attracted to more than one gender. Bicurious: curious to explore with the same sex without labelling oneself. In the lifestyle female bisexuality is very common and accepted; male bisexuality is emerging.

The art of tying and restraining a partner — rope, cuffs, tape — for control play and aesthetics. Always practiced with safety scissors at hand and attention to circulation and nerves.

A sub who teases, challenges and disobeys on purpose to be “tamed”: the fun is in the playful resistance. It needs a dom who can play along (a brat tamer).

Playing with breath control to heighten sensation. One of the riskiest practices: only when informed, never alone and never with prolonged pressure on the throat.

The “third” man who joins the couple, usually as the hotwife’s lover while her partner watches or knows. Chosen for presence and reliability, he respects the couple’s rules. A good bull knows the story isn’t about him, but about the two of them.

The chastity game: a man wears a device that prevents erection and orgasm, handing the “key” to his partner (the keyholder). An eroticism of waiting, control and devotion, often tied to cuckolding and femdom. Sessions run from hours to weeks, always with safety rules.

The collar as a symbol of the bond between dom and sub, given in an often solemn moment: a bit like a ring. It marks belonging and commitment within the dynamic.

The genuine joy of seeing your partner take pleasure with someone else: the emotional opposite of jealousy. Not something you “have or don’t”, but something trained through communication and trust.

The explicit, informed and revocable agreement of everyone involved: the non-negotiable basis of every game. Not a “yes” said once, but something checked and withdrawable at any moment. Without consent there’s no lifestyle, only abuse.

A man, often straight or bisexual, who dresses and presents as feminine for pleasure and expression, without it implying a change of gender identity. A common presence at themed parties and clubs. To be distinguished from being transgender: here it’s expression and play, not identity.

A man who gets aroused, physically or psychologically, by knowing or watching his partner with others. A game of trust and exposure, sometimes with agreed erotic humiliation: the “surrender” is chosen, not suffered.

The female version of the cuckold: a woman who takes pleasure in seeing or knowing her partner with other women. It centers her arousal in “sharing him”, always by choice — often she picks the partners and sets the rules.

Consensual erotic humiliation through words or gestures that arouse the one receiving it. The line is thin and personal: what arouses one can hurt another, so it’s agreed beforehand.

The system of agreed rules, tasks and punishments between dom and sub: the “D” in BDSM. It gives the game structure and pleasure in obeying — or breaking the rules on purpose.

Sex in cars or secluded outdoor spots, with others watching or joining, often at known locations. It has unwritten rules of signals, distance and silent consent. In Italy it stays a niche: discretion and respect for the place are everything.

The one who leads and controls the scene, taking responsibility for the other’s pleasure and safety. To dominate isn’t to overpower: the power is granted by the submissive, not taken. From soft (orders, rules) to structured hard play.

Bringing yourself or your partner repeatedly to the edge of orgasm and then stopping, drawing out and intensifying arousal. Used for intensity or as control in chastity and domination play.

A young man with androgynous or feminine features and style, playing with gender ambiguity while remaining male. A term born online, it describes an aesthetic more than an orientation. It appeals to those drawn to softness and fluidity.

Female domination: she leads the game and he submits, for pleasure and not from weakness. It ranges from soft (orders, teasing, denial) to hard (structured BDSM), and often weaves into chastity, pegging and cuckolding.

The complete swap: intercourse, penetration included, also happens with the other couple’s partner. Usually reached after building trust and experience, with clear rules. It’s not “better” than soft — just a different boundary.

Someone whose gender identity or expression shifts over time, between masculine, feminine or other. In the lifestyle it means the freedom to present and play without fixed labels.

A woman in a couple who has sex with other men with the full consent — and often the encouragement — of her partner. The heart of it is her pleasure and the fact that he knows and wants it: not cheating, but a dynamic built together.

Anything that strikes the body for pleasure: hands, paddle, flogger, belt. Played on “safe” zones (buttocks, thighs), avoiding kidneys and spine, always starting gently.

The person who “holds the key” to their partner’s chastity device and decides when — and if — to release them. A role of power and trust at the heart of chastity play, often held by the partner or a domme. Control can be playful or strict and prolonged.

A total, ongoing power dynamic: the “master” leads and the “slave” gives themselves, often beyond the bedroom too. A relationship of deep trust, with rules, rituals and always revocable. Not to be confused with a casual game.

A woman penetrates a man with a strap-on. It often links to role reversal and female domination, but many couples do it simply for the physical pleasure. It needs communication, lubrication and a gradual pace.

A roleplay where one person takes on an “animal” role (kitten, pup, pony) and the other is their owner. Made of gear, care and an affectionate power dynamic, not necessarily sexual.

The person who leads rope bondage, tying their partner (the bottom or rope bunny). Technique, anatomy and safety matter: a bad tie can really hurt.

Acting out agreed roles and scenarios (boss/employee, strangers, nurse…) to spark desire. It’s fantasy staged, with rules and an exit always ready.

A safety word agreed in advance that stops everything instantly, no discussion. It exists because in play a “no” can be part of the scene: the safeword is the real stop. Picking a simple one and using it is the mark of healthy play.

Playing with the senses: blindfolds, ice, feathers, temperatures, sounds. Removing one sense, usually sight, heightens all the others and the anticipation.

Japanese artistic rope bondage, where the tie is also an aesthetic, almost meditative form. It takes study: knots, body points to avoid and constant communication.

In an erotic sense, a man who takes on a hyper-feminine, submissive role, often guided by his partner or a domme (sissification). It’s roleplay and power, not an identity, and often ties to femdom, chastity and consensual humiliation.

The “soft” swap: you play with another couple — kissing, touching, oral, hands — but without full intercourse with the other partner. It’s often the entry point for beginners, with a clear shared boundary. Many couples stay soft by choice, not as a step toward “more”.

Erotic spanking, bare-handed or with a tool: one of the most common and accessible practices. Often the entry point to BDSM for couples.

The ethical principles of BDSM: “Safe, Sane, Consensual” and “Risk-Aware Consensual Kink”. They sum up the golden rule: informed, in agreement, always reversible.

The “proud” variant of the hotwife/cuckold dynamic: she (the vixen) plays with others while he (the stag) takes part with pride and delight, not humiliation. The focus is shared desire and complicity.

A wearable dildo used for penetration, by a woman on her partner (pegging) or between women. They come in every shape and size: a comfortable harness and plenty of lube are what count.

The one who consensually gives up control to the dominant, finding pleasure in obedience and surrender. Submission is an active, powerful choice, not passivity: the sub sets the limits and always holds the safeword.

Someone who alternates both roles — dominant in one scene, submissive in another — depending on partner or mood. Proof that dom and sub are hats you wear, not fixed identities.

A person whose gender identity differs from the sex assigned at birth. In ads it often refers to trans women present at meetups: to be used with respect, because it’s an identity, not a fetish. Not to be confused with crossdressing.

Dripping hot wax on the skin for the contrast of sensations. Use special low-temperature candles and always test the distance first.